


To Marry?

by tobeconspicuous



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: And all her exes, But it's really all about Fiona, F/M, Just like the show right?, Shameless Reverse Bang, as do Frank and Monica, the Gallagher siblings also get a mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9401804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobeconspicuous/pseuds/tobeconspicuous
Summary: When Fiona's mommy was in a happy mood she would tell the story. The details would change occasionally depending on if she had any special medicine or not. One day they would marry on the beach, the next on a farm, but the ending was always the same. They were happy.Fiona couldn't wait to be married.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So first fic for the first Shameless Reverse Bang! What an honour! Sorry for the lateness, I had 140 words I've been putting off writing...
> 
> I am Australian, and this is unbeata'd so any misspellings are my own! Sorry in advance.
> 
> Art by Me-Ladie.
> 
> Fiona is a really interesting character, as she grows she becomes more and more bitter towards her siblings and their wasted potential, and I really wanted to explore that.
> 
> As this is not Gallavich I am not assuming a huge response or level or readership. But if you liked it please comment or leave Kudos.

_When Fiona was a little girl she had dreamed of finding a man who would take her away from her family._

_Her mommy had always spoken wonderfully of “Frank Gallagher”, the man who swept her off her feet and helped her escape from her mean father. Who had driven her to a small church where she had worn a white dress and was surrounded by their dearest friends. They ate cake and danced all evening. They watched the sun rise over the distant Chicago skyline and toasted to their future. Shortly after they had a perfect little girl followed by a perfect little boy. They had their perfect family and they would always be happy._

_When Fiona's mommy was in a happy mood she would tell the story. The details would change occasionally depending on if she had any special medicine or not. One day they would marry on the beach, the next on a farm, but the ending was always the same. They were happy._

_Fiona couldn't wait to be married._

_He would be rich, live on the North side in a huge house with enough bedrooms to sleep both their entire families. In the backyard would be a pool with a water slide and they would swim every day, even in winter. He would be tall and strong enough to keep her daddy from being mean and drinking the special sauce which made him so sick. He would be funny enough so her mommy would always be laughing and happy and never sad enough that she wouldn't get out of bed. (Though mommy and daddy wouldn't live with them because they would be married and married people don't live with their mommies and daddies.)_

_Their wedding would be massive in a huge church and all the pretty blonde girls in school would be jealous. Her dress would be whiter than the snow that fell on their house around Christmas. Her hair would be long and curly over her shoulders. She would carry pretty white flowers and have a long white veil._

_And her husband would love her so very much. He would buy her all the princess dresses she could want and would always play dress up with her without complaining. (Unlike Lip who would always complain and tell her princesses weren't real. Mommy had shown them though, there were real life princesses living in other countries.) Her husband would take her to places outside of Chicago such as the beach and they would walk barefoot feeling the sand between their toes just like her mummy had described. He may even take her to another country entirely, like Canada, which mommy had said was so beautiful that it snowed most of the year._

_She and her husband would have two children, just like her mummy and daddy had. A little girl and a little boy, they would have a perfect family._

_Then Fiona saw her mother's belly swell, just like it had before Lip had come along. Her mommy told her in secret that she would be having another baby soon, a little brother or sister for Fiona to play with. Fiona hoped for a sister, with pretty blonde hair like their mothers, not the ugly brown mess she had inherited from daddy. Her mummy laughed and told her that she would love her new sibling no matter what._

_And when Ian came along Fiona knew her mother was right. Sweet little Ian whose green eyes gazed at her through bright red curls and laughter sounded like wind chimes. Such a happy baby their mother said, just like his father. Fiona secretly told Lip couldn't see any of daddy in Ian, but she sure looked hard. Though maybe she could see it when their Uncle Clayton came to visit, always with big smiles, warm hugs and little toys which seemed to magically appear out of his pockets._

_With Ian came nights of happiness once again, the house was alive and full of laughter. But soon it ended, days and nights of sadness followed when mommy wouldn't get out of bed. And then one day everything seemed to be okay, but then that one particular night happened. That night where Fiona had walked so far clutching her siblings to make sure they were safe and she realised what being from the South side truly meant. No one took pity on a girl with two young children, they drove past shouting obscenities, treating them no better than the trash that lined the roadside. Fiona still doesn't remember how she made it there, but the Doctor's had told her she had done the right thing._

_When Fiona was a little girl she had dreamed of finding a man who would take her away from her family. Whilst sitting in the hospital she had to put that dream on hold._

_Just for a little while, she told herself, just until Ian is big enough to look after himself._

_They had spent their first time away from their family then. Fiona stayed with a nice woman who smelt of mothballs and vinegar, she would offer her sweets and showed her how to knit with her fingers. But she missed her siblings terribly and was happy to be reunited with them. And her mommy and daddy were happy, until her mommy's belly began to swell again._

_Another sibling came, the little sister Fiona had always wanted. She had red hair like Ian's rather than the blonde Fiona had pictured but it hadn't mattered. But then another sibling came along, and then another. And as each arrived Fiona's dreams of weddings and husbands began to rot away, making way for other dreams. Dreams of being able to keep her siblings well fed, to keep them warm during the cold winter nights, and that they would always know that they were loved._

  
_Yes, when Fiona was a little girl she had dreamed of finding a man who would take her away from her family. But dreams were meant for North side children, not those like Fiona. No Fiona wasn't meant to dream of anything but survival, just like the South side girl she would always be._

* * *

 

 

Fiona stormed out of the church, her flowers discarded along the way. She scream internally as she paced up and down the side of the church before finally breaking. She sighed as she lowered herself onto a stone bench which sat against a single cold wall of the church. The seat was wet and water was seeping though the white lace and silk, her body wrenched with a silent sob. It was cold, her ass was wet, and all she could do was sit there and try not to cry.

Just like always things had gone to absolute shit. When was a Gallagher ever going to get a break?

She was furious at Frank, but she wasn't surprised. It was a talent of his, ruining everything that she and her siblings had worked for, but he wasn't all to blame this time. Sean was clearly not the man she thought he was, or maybe not the man she wanted him to be. Either way she was stuck, slowly ruining the expensive white dress she really couldn't afford at the side of the church, wishing that she hadn't actually come this far and wondering why she actually had.

Who was she kidding anyway? She didn't deserve to be happy, she hadn't been happy for a long time, not really. She was a failure, a screw up, she was after all a Gallagher.

She didn't really love Sean, she trusted him until he lied to her, but she didn't love him. No her heart had been ruined by the brunette man with floppy hair and a near perfect smile. Fiona winced as thoughts of the familiar man once again wormed their way to the forefront of her mind. She cringed at the fact that he always seemed to be there, whenever she felt sorry for herself, or stressed he was there.

They had once spoke jokingly of getting married, back when they first began, before she realised that everything he had ever said to her was a lie.

They were laying naked in bed, limbs intertwined, sweaty from the hour or so they had spent exploring one another. The house was quiet, all the kids were asleep. They whispered to one another, gentle teasing about spending the rest of their lives naked with their limbs wound around one another.

And then there was a proposed trip to South America, which Fiona had wanted so desperately to join him on. And then he was gone. After he left she fantasised about being on a beach, sand between her toes, drinking cocktails and sunbathing. Other days she thought of feeding her family, and keeping a roof over their heads. It was the thought that made her stay. She had moved on, but then he was there again, only for a second before once again he disappeared into the sunset.

Mike was her saving grace then. Wonderful Mike, kind and generous with endless patience for her and all his other employee's. Whose smile could light up the entire office, he inspired such loyalty from his employee's and his family.

She had imagined growing old with him, maybe even having a child or two if he wanted them.

Then Robbie ruined everything. He wormed his way under her skin, and then clawed his way out, tearing her world to shreds. He had lead her down a stupid path which had ruined her and her families life. As much as she wanted to blame him, needed to blame him, she knew it was all her fault. It had taken her an age, and her younger brothers temper, to realise that she had to take ownership of her own actions, so she did.

So she started working at Patsy's and started forming a tentative relationship with Sean.

But Fiona had felt herself grow bitter, resigned. She was stuck in a dead end job with siblings who pretended to be grown up. Lip squandered his potential at College whilst Fiona yearned for a chance she had lost when she left school. Ian was playing happy families with Mickey whilst screwing around and ignoring all signs of his illness. Debbie was becoming a spoilt brat who wanted nothing more than to be an adult while being so oblivious to what that meant. Carl was acting like an idiot, pretending to big the biggest bad ass in South side when in reality he was still a little boy. And Liam... Well Fiona would never let her thoughts stray there for too long.

In the midst of her depression she met Gus.

Well technically she had met Davis first. She had been smitten, his charming accent sent shivers down her spine and their casual flirting left her feeling giddy. Gus hadn't even been a blip on her radar until she met the Australian man's girlfriend. And well, a week later she had married Gus.

Sweet sensitive Gus, who was so naive and fell to her charms. Who treated her better in 24 hours of dating her than most men had treated her in months of dating. He had made her feel warm and loved. All her problems seemed to melt away whilst she was in his arms.

But Fiona knew that it wasn't real, even as she stood next to him and promised to be faithful she was caught up in the romance of it. She had always been a dreamer, incredibly flighty and always seeking more.

Fiona was her parents daughter.

Even though she desperately wanted Gus to be the one, she hadn't let him into her family, not really. She couldn't even bring herself to really tell them, embarrassed of what they would think. It wasn't entirely her fault though, something more important always seemed to turn up. He was getting frustrated with her lack of commitment to the biggest commitment to each other.

And then she had cheated on him, the final crack which made their fragile world shatter.

She had been yet again seduced by soft brown hair, blue eyes and a perfectly crooked smile. The sex hadn't even been that great, just a final “Fuck you Fiona, you don't deserve to be happy”. And then she once again turned him down, let him run again. She didn't regret it, not really.

She felt as though she was finally over him.

She wasn't.

As much as she hated herself for it she would eventually always break and run back to him.

She had practically screamed it in her heated conversation with Gus, even though she never actually said it. He looked down at her the same as all then men in her life had. Some piece of South side trash that was no better than the gum they had only just scraped off the sole of their shoe. And that song- Not that she blamed him, or at least she told herself that. She had deserved it after all.

But then Sean was there, a steady constant presence in her life. And he liked her, he actually wanted to spend time with her and her family. He supported her through hard times and laughed with her through good ones. He had looked at her with kind eyes and a happy smile.

He had even proposed to her in front of Gus, making her look wanted. And she had wanted him too.

Somewhere along the way between the proposal and her big day she had become caught up in making her day perfect. She ignored her family and their problems, and her oldest friends. But she may have been able to cope if it wasn't for the fact that she hadn't noticed Sean. She hadn't noticed his sadness, his spiralling out of control. She had been selfish and now she had lost him.

There was no way they were getting married. She wouldn't let herself fall into the same trap her parents had. She would rather curl up and die than marry a drug addict, she had already lived a lifetime with drug dependant narcissists and would never willingly let herself walk into that trap. She would have to let Sean go.

So Fiona sat outside the church in her white wedding dress and sighed.

There was only one person she wanted in that moment, who she wanted to old her and make her feel as though she was worthy of wearing the dress. She held her breath, waiting for the familiar figure to walk around the corner, to offer her his arm and begin what they should have all those months ago. Fiona wanted to stand in front of their families and prove that this was worth all the drama, that she was deserving of the one thing she had dreamed of. But he never came and once more her dream faded to dust.

Fiona knew she would have to eventually face her siblings.

Lip with his condescending smirk, of course he would revel in her misery. Their relationship had never been the same since the Liam incident. He had not ever trusted her since then, always watching her with one eye, oblivious to his own obvious screw ups.

Then there was the constantly numb Ian. Ian who had not smiled since Mickey had went away. Ian and his new boyfriend, who seemed to look down on them all. Fiona couldn't say how long that relationship would last, but she didn't see a happy outcome in their future. Not while Ian was clearly still hung up on his ex, after all she was the expert at being hung up on someone unattainable.

And what about Debbie, poor stubborn Debbie who now had a baby to take care of. Fiona couldn't understand what had happened to her little sister, how such a smart girl could throw away her life like that. Even if she didn't want an abortion she could have still given the child up for adoption. She saw the baby as an accessory, not as a living human being. Fiona wondered how long it would take for Debbie to regret Frannie, she hoped for the child's sake that would never happen.

And what about Carl? He had been so determined to be in Juvie, to experience the "real" world and get a proper education. He was no longer the sweet, slightly disturbed boy she had raised. She could barely describe Carl now, she could barely describe any of her siblings.

Especially Liam. Liam who she would forever feel responsible for, who looked at her with big sad eyes. Who barely spoke a word to any of them now apart from when he wanted something. Who was still so innocent, the only good Gallagher left.

Soon Svetlana and Veronica were walking over and Fiona snapped out of her thoughts. Once again she needed to pick herself up, brush herself off and work her own shit out.

But before anything could really begin she began to wonder, began to plot, what would they ever do with Frank. A cruel smile began to break across her face, she quickly smothered it with a small pursed smile. Time to deal with her father, the rest of her family could wait.

* * *

  
_When Fiona was a little girl she had dreamed of finding a man who would take her away from her family._

_When her mommy lay in bed and never wanted to get up she would dream of the man she would marry._

_When her mommy left and her daddy cried and drank the special sauce until he was sick she would dream of a life outside of her own._

_When her daddy would get angry and say mean things about her mommy she would dream and dream and dream._

_In her old age Fiona still dreamed of her future husband, but it appeared as though that dream was never meant to be._

**Author's Note:**

> Come join me on tumblr!


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